Finding Information and Help with Pregnancy and Infant Loss Issues

Although perinatal loss is not a disorder, for many people the experience of a loss through miscarriage, stillbirth, or other neonatal loss is an incredibly painful and bewildering event. Reactions to such a loss may include sadness/despair, shock, anxiety, anger, confusion, difficulty eating, difficulty sleeping or social isolation.

Because of our culture’s discomfort with such losses, individuals who have had these experiences often feel that their experience is unacknowledged and that their feelings are unacceptable. This can lead to an increase in the intensity and length of a person’s symptoms of grief.

Many of us, regardless of age, family role or background, may not have models for understanding or coping with this type of experience. For that reason, I include resources for a variety of people and needs including men, couples and children, as well as information on how family and friends can be helpful after a neonatal loss. I also include information about infertility due to the frequent dual experience of infertility and perinatal loss.

In addition to books and websites, individuals in the San Francisco Bay Area have a number of options for support and therapy groups focused on pregnancy loss. If you don’t see a group close to you in my listing, you may want to contact your local hospitals or the national SHARE office (listed under organizations) to find the closest group near you.

Depending on your circumstances, individual, couples or group therapy may be helpful to you following a pregnancy loss. All of these options for help are available. 

Information and Coping – Books

About What Was Lost:  20 Writers on Miscarriage, Healing and Hope, edited by Jessica Berger Gross  2007

Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death by Sherokee Ilse, 1996

Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis, 1996

Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Abortion and Other Pregnancy Loss by Kim Kluger-Bell, 2000

When Hello Means Goodbye: A Guide for Parents Whose Child Dies Before Birth, at Birth, or Shortly After Birth by Pat Schwiebert, RN and Paul Kirk, MD, 1998

Organizations & Web Sites

A Place to Remember - www.aplacetoremember.com

The Hygeia Foundation - hygeia.org/wieselfront.htm

SHARE Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc. - www.nationalshare.org

MISS (Mothers in Sympathy and Support) - www.misschildren.org

Wisconsin Stillbirth Studies Program - www.wisc.edu/wissp

Groups – East Bay Area

SAND (Support After Neonatal Death) Twice a month drop-in support group for anyone who has experienced a perinatal loss from early miscarriage to soon after delivery. Berkeley (510) 204-1571

“Beyond Choice”- Twice a month support group for those who have had a termination due to prenatal diagnosis North Oakland (510) 845-4656

Groups- San Francisco

HAND of San Francisco (Helping After Neonatal Death) Twice a month free drop-in support group for those who have experienced a pregnancy or neonatal loss, at the Davies campus CPMC. Call (415) 282-7330 and go to www.HANDsupport.com

Grupo Amparo – Spanish speaking support group, free for people dealing with pregnancy loss or neonatal death. Twice a month drop-in group, by appointment only. Call 415-764-0211

Pregnancy After Loss Support Group- Monthly drop-in group for individuals or couples who are pregnant after loss. CPMC campus. (415) 600-2229

Genetics Information & Ending a Pregnancy – Books

A Time to Decide, A Time to Heal by Molly Minnick, MSW, Kathleen Delp, ACSW and Mary Ciotti, 2000

*A Silent Sorrow Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for You and Your Family by Ingrid Kohn, MSW and Perry-Lynn Moffitt, 2000 Ch.8 “Prenatal Diagnosis and the Burden of Choice”

*Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis, 1996 Ch. 8 “Making Peace with Agonizing Decisions”

*Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Abortion, and Other Pregnancy Loss by Kim Kluger-Bell, 2000
Ch. 4 “The Dilemma of Choice: Abortion–Elective, Genetic and Multifetal Reductions”

Group- “Beyond Choice”- Twice a month support group for those who have had a termination due to  . North Oakland (510) 845-4656

     Sudden Infant Death Syndrome – Web Sites

American SIDS Institute
www.sids.org

National SIDS Resource Center
www.sidscenter.org

Back to Resources List
 Infertility – Books

Miscarriage After Infertility: A Woman’s Guide to Coping by Margaret Comerford Freda, RN and Carrie F. Semelsberger, 2003

*A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for You and Your Family by Ingrid Kohn, MSW and Perry-Lynn Moffitt, 2000
Ch. 15 “Pregnancy Loss and Infertility: A Twofold Sorrow”

Back to Resources List

 Infertility-Organization and Website

Resolve: The National Infertility Association - www.resolve.org


     Losses in Multiple Births – Organization

CLIMB (Center for Loss in Multiple Birth)
www.climb-support.org


Men – Books   

Miscarriage: A Man’s Book by Rick Wheat, 1995

*A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for You and Your Family by Ingrid Kohn, MSW and Perry-Lynn Moffitt, 2000
Ch. 3 “The Father’s Experience”

*Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis,, 1996
Ch. 9 “Especially for Fathers”

*Unspeakable Losses: Healing from Miscarriage, Abortion and Other Pregnancy Loss by Kim Kluger-Bell, 2000
Ch. 5 “Lost Fathers: Men’s Experience of Pregnancy Loss and Abortion”

 Couples-Books

Healing Together: For Couples Grieving the Death of Their Baby by Marcie Lister and Sandra Lovell
Centering Corporation, 2004

For Better or Worse: A Handbook for Couples Whose Child Has Died by Maribeth Wilder Doerr
Centering Corporation, 2004

*Empty Cradle, Broken Heart: Surviving the Death of Your Baby by Deborah L. Davis, 1996
Ch. 10 “You and Your Partner”

*A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss: Guidance and Support for You and Your Family, 2nd Edition by Ingrid Kohn, MSW and Perry-Lynn Moffit, 2000
Ch. 4 “Pregnancy Loss and Your Relationship: Grieving Together and Apart”


 Children – Books

No New Baby by Marilyn Gryte
Centering Corporation, 1999

35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child by The Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Families
The Dougy Center, 2004

Thumpy’s Story: A Story of Love and Grief Shared by Thumpy, the Bunny by Nancy C. Dodge
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, 1986


 Grandparents – Book

For Bereaved Grandparents, by Marilyn H. Gerner
Centering Corporation, 1990

Grandparents – Organization

AGAST (Alliance of Grandparents, A Support in Tragedy)
www.agast.org


 Single Parents – Book

Single Parent Grief by Sherokee Ilse
A Place to Remember, 2003

     Friends and Family- How to Help

*Empty Arms: Coping with Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Death by Sherokee Ilse
Wintergreen Press, 1996 – pp. 68-70

Subsequent Pregnancy-Books

Pregnancy After a Loss: A Guide to Pregnancy After a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Infant Death by Carol Cirulli Lanham
Berkeley Publishing, 1999

Still to Be Born: A Guide for Bereaved Parents Who Are Making Decisions About Their Future by Pat Schwiebert, RN and Paul Kirk, MD
Perinatal Loss, 1986

Trying Again: A Guide to Pregnancy After Miscarriage, Stillbirth and Infant Loss by Ann Douglas and John R. Sussman, MD, 2000

Subsequent Pregnancy – Web Site

SPALS (Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support)
www.spals.com

 Other

Study of Maternal Observations & Memories of Stillbirth
www.momstudy.com

Perinatal Bereavement Resources- A Catalogue for Brochures, Books, etc.
www.nationalshareoffice.com or (800)821-6819

Pregnancy Awareness Month is October

 Bay Area Memorials

Piedmont:  Sponsored by Alta Bates “Walk to Remember:  Memorial Service for Pregnancy and Infant Loss” 510-204-1762

Walnut Creek:  Sponsored by John Muir Medical Center “A Place to Remember:  a Remembrance Ceremony for Babies who Have Gone Too Soon” October 16, 2014 7-9p, Walnut Creek Library, Oakview Room, register at www.johnmuirhealth.com/classes or by calling 925-941-7900

National Perinatal Bereavement Conference
www.perinatalbereavementconference.org


* indicates that source is listed in more than one subject area